In my life so far, I have seen so many women be controlled. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times it’s obscure. Although I am sure that cunning women exist who control their men in the name of love, but since I am a woman that have dealt with witnessing more men that control women (including myself) my article will positioned as men being the “puppet player” aka “puppet master”. Also, generally men are less emotional than women which helps them play the puppet master much more effectively than a woman probably could.
While most women get caught up with their emotions, men get caught up with their head, not the one with the brain in it, which puts a man in the more dominant position to take advantage of his woman’s feelings for him. Fortunately, there are men out there that would never do this, or perhaps used to, and have no desire to anymore; however, there really shouldn’t be ANY men out here that yearn to do this. In a perfect world, there wouldn’t be men out here like this but as women we also have a responsibility to not allow it to happen. If it does happen we must be perceptive enough to recognize it and strong enough to end it. Sometimes we know what our men are doing and we either hope he changes or we hope it’s not true. Ladies, men are not going to change (especially if you have already allowed it) and I promise you are not dreaming. And trust me, you do not want a man like this to be your husband or worse the father of your children.
How to Prevent This
Keep in mind that people only control others that can be controlled. People know who can be controlled, it’s like a sixth sense they possess. There are, though, those times where maybe you are not the kind of person that can be controlled but you have been at times in your life where you were vulnerable enough to be controlled. People can sense that too. I know this all too well because I have been vulnerable at times in my life where otherwise I would not have been able to be controlled. I have learned that it’s best to be aware when you are vulnerable, then wait until that vulnerability becomes absent before you even consider dating someone again. When you are in this state of mind it is easy to become unguarded and impressionable. Typically that is when women are the most emotional; therefore, when we meet someone we become naked sharing all our feelings and thoughts. Some men will leverage that to create a love between the two of you that may not even exist where he is concerned. That facade of love will allow a man to control his woman. The lies he tells will be believable and the hint of love he gives will be intensely felt. And then anything he wants he will get almost effortlessly.
How to Cut the Strings
So if you have already allowed the strings to develop and he is now manipulating them, you must first believe (really know) this is happening to you. Do not be in denial, please! Anytime we feel funny in a relationship (this goes for men too), it’s our God given intuition telling us this is not right. We must pay attention to it. Every time I have felt something was not right, even though I was not 100% sure I should have ended it, I later would discover that I did the right thing. Once, we realize this is what we have to do, then it is important to be aware that he will probably find reasons for you to stay not because he loves you, but because he will lose that control. You are like the toy he could play with that he is not yet tired of. You have to think of it that way, as harsh as it seems. You must know that how you are being treated is not love and no matter what he says or how horrible he makes you feel (because he will) that you deserve better. In that moment “better” means being single and away from him.
Sometimes it helps to write everything down such as:
People generally say write a pros and cons list but I find that to be misleading. Some of the pros we list are ones we created in our head and ones he might have lead you to believe. It is also not good to focus on the good things because if we are not strong enough to break away we will use even one pro as an excuse to stay.
For the men dating manipulative women you know are not good for you, please take heed to this article as well. Women, yes, control men differently than men control women generally, but you can apply the same things if you are having a hard time breaking it off. I would write an article about manipulative women but because I don’t have men writing me or confiding in me about this type of issue I am not sure what really happens. So if you are brave enough to send me your story then, I would love to help others by sharing it on my site.