It is always good to have pride, I will never dispute that but there is such a thing as having too much pride. It’s great to “protect” yourself from others; however, when you find someone that truly loves you then it’s okay to let your guard down. It is okay to look within yourself and realize you don’t have control of the situation and in need of someone’s help. It is righteous to say sorry when you know you have hurt the other person or have been wrongful toward them.
Let’s discuss pride a little bit. What comes to mind when you think of the word pride or someone being prideful? Think about this for a few seconds. Okay… now this is what comes to my mind — I think the person is too weak to deal with pain so they protect themselves to appear strong. You may disagree with me, but think about it. Most people think that people with pride are strong people. People with pride cannot be torn down. They supposedly have great self-esteem, are always in control, don’t need help from anyone and are all powerful.
But ultimately we are all human. We all need help from time to time and we are not all powerful. As for overly prideful people, on the contrary, they only want to believe they have great self-esteem. If you pay attention closely they are not really on the up and up within themselves. People with too much pride often are holding things back and/or are hiding something that they wish not to reveal to anyone including their partner.
That’s why I say it is relationship suicide. If at any time in your life you should be able to let your hair down is when you are fortunate enough to find someone that loves you unconditionally that is not your blood. You are not giving your relationship a winning chance to survive if you are too prideful.
Prideful people think they can hold their own in relationships. Well if so then, why are they in a relationship? When you find someone you love you should want them to be a part of your team, not a part of what you say and what your ideals are. As you know there is not an “i” in the word team, however, prideful people think there is. To find someone is to make that person your other half if you realize that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you don’t believe that then you probably should be single and just satisfy your sexual needs from time to time.
If you find yourself as a prideful person then maybe you should back down a little in your relationships (friends as well) because pride makes you impatient, distrusting, and not accepting of those who do not ascribe to your philosophy, spiritual beliefs, psychological principles, and sociological mandates. And let me tell you nobody wants to deal with such drivel and if they do they won’t for long. It is absolutely frustrating and continuously irritating.
Pride will cause you to fail in every relationship because with such pride you will live a life of indifference, avoidance, and denial of the warning signs that what you believe yourself to be is not what you really are, which is quite sad.
So prideful people…
Wake up, be real, and take advantage of the love you have in life! Not everyone gets to be that blessed in life. Therefore, stop being cocky, accept other people’s feeling as real and justified, realize and come to terms with your weaknesses, know that you are not always right nor is your way the right way, your beliefs are your opinions, hardheaded, stubborn and overall deaf to the world in general. Snap out of it before you lose what could be the best thing that could happen to you in your life.
All Content © 2010 Marika Dye
This Article is one of the realist articles I have ever read. As I sit and point the finger, I realize that im jhst as prideful as the one I point towards. Time to check myself a lil more. But, I do want to clarify that having pride is a defense mechanism as well to help coop with the harsh realities of disappointment throughout our search for the “One” and It helps us see just who’s willing to fight for your Heart/Love! -Marvin H. ’12
That's a great point of view on why people are prideful. I guess you are right… it does help us cope…. but here's the problem…. it doesn't help you cope with the consequences there after when you do decide to be prideful. What if you were too prideful to pick up the phone and talk to someone (maybe an ex or someone you are dating and having issues with) and that person God forbid got hit by a bus the next day…. wouldn't your pride be quite pointless then?
P.S. Thank you for your compliment on this article. I am so glad you liked it that much. Makes me feel like I made a difference.
For the first time in my life, someone I’ve been knowing for only 2 years, has told me I have too much pride. And he has been telling me that since we met. I’ve never thought this about myself and none of my long term friends or family have told me this. I can’t help but wonder if it’s possible that it appears only in my one on one dealings or if it’s not me with the issue but in fact him.
I googled hoping to get some advice about how to tackle my pride (I am fully aware that it hurts me and makes me a pain in arse to others) but this is just a diatribe about how annoying we are with no helpful advice, apart from "stop having so much pride" – which is advice but not particularly helpful!
So you are trying to find out how not to have too much pride. Like how to stop it? I guess I could do an article on that…. I think at times even with me… I can be a bit prideful as well. It's all mind control tho. If you know it's wrong then don't do it. Something I do often is imagine if I lost that person the next day and I knew I was going to… how would I act. Like say they were sick in the hospital (God forbid) would I act or do things different. We never want to have regrets on how we dealt with someone we cared about it or loved.
Thanks for the article! I am just coming out of a relationship (sobs), my x boyfriend would admit he has issues with pride,this is the reason why it has broken. It was always about him, his ways, his values,very distrusting and manipulative to so as to get his way.
I still want to help him, I know he is going to get into another relationship and it wont work like the past relationships he had.
You can't worry about him in his next relationship. Believe it or not, people do learn. My ex fiance seems to have learned because we broke up almost three years ago he has held a long term relationship. So unless she is just dealing with him and his issues I think he most likely has changed some things. I believe every relationship is either a reason for you to learn or the other to learn… and a plus is when it's both. Your main concern tho is another relationship working for YOU. He is not your concern anymore. And I hope now that four weeks have past you have done some healing. I know all too well how hard it is to cope with a break up.
Wow! How insightful. I've always felt this is the problem but not really been able to put my thumb on the point(s) as you set them out here. Thanks a million. Now if one believes their partner is proud as a defensive mechanism to mask deep seated historical pain, how does one act/do to get the partner to realise this is something that needs to be acknowledged before healing can start and a more healthy relationship emerge. I find it is soo hard giving up on someone …..