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How Platonic is Your Friend?

How Platonic is Your Friend?
A friend is a friend is a friend…


Back several years ago, I had a discussion with one of my guy friends. He suggested that if a guy had the chance (considering he found me attractive) that he would jump at the opportunity to “jump my bones” if he had the chance. I disagreed and confidently added that my guy friends love me like their sister. Then, he laughed and said “Fine, do a survey to find out for yourself!”

How naive was I…

I thought about it and then proceeded to ask about 10 guy friends “If you could sleep with me would you, be honest!” Surprisingly, 8 out of 10 said “Hell yeah!” The other two didn’t want to ruin a good friendship with me, but the others would take the chance or they thought I was simply not their type. 

So, knowing that men think about sex about 96 percent of the time, I thought maybe I should pose the question more publically. However, I also wonder how other women feel about this subject as well because once I put into my mind that a guy is my friend then pretty much he won’t be coming outside that “friend box” no matter how attractive he is— well, maybe if alcohol is involved (haha). It’s how I fix my mind to think. For the most part if I ended up dating my “friend” I probably had other thoughts in my head when we first met and it just never went away no matter how hard I tried. Remember I am a Scorpio.

So I have a couple surveys I would like you to participate in. This will be fun I promise.




In conclusion:
When women have an attraction a friend, it’s usually more than just sex. That’s what makes us different from men because I think with men its more the opposite.  We put a bit of emotion into it especially since we have gotten to know you in a way that we feel no one else does or not many do. So instead of us just wanting sex, we want a relationship. Maybe we even fell in love or want to. Secret: Some of us hope that sex will make the relationship.  It’s our master-plan.

Please if you have stories about a platonic friend please share. I’d like this blog to get really interactive.

All Content © 2010 Marika Dye

79 Responses to “How Platonic is Your Friend?”

  1. 0

    We always select our friends based on common thoughts. So if any friend to attracted to me, or if I am attracted to any one of them, I do not think it is going to spoil the friendship. Indeed my present partner was introduced to me as a friend itself. My life has changed a lot after I found a partner like him.

    • ThatMarika says:

      Well that's awesome Andrea! And yes, you have to be careful because I finally ended a long term (on/off) relationship that I was friends with prior and we have TONS of mutual friends. It just makes things so hard after that for everyone.

  2. 0

    All this attraction just boils down to the play of hormones. As we re aware of our friends in a better manner, we can be sure whether the other person will really reciprocate our feelings or not. This is a huge advantage here which avoids heart breaks to a great extent.

    • ThatMarika says:

      Autumn, I think the heart breaks harder when you get romantically involved with your friend though. It's really a risky thing to do. I think it's a beautiful thing but at the same time much riskier than just meeting someone and going out on a date.

  3. WRIGHT CADEN says:

    There is an element of attraction always present between a new friends.As the time progresses,both either gets more fantasised by one another and longs for physical or sexual pleasure.otherwise both mutually realise that it is just a platonic friendship.In my case,most of my friends are platonic but there are very few to whom I was physically attracted.I voted option 1 in both polls.

  4. Jenna says:

    As mentioned by Gabrielle, I too find that most of guy girl friendships are include attraction. Even I am attracted to most of my girl friends. We cannot tell it is wrong, because after all it the play of hormones. Anybody can be attracted to anybody. There are no limits for the heart to love.

  5. Grace says:

    As mentioned in the above comments, the friendship between a guy and a girl has some element of attraction. Most of my friends of the opposite sex get attracted to the opposite. So there are more chances of your friend being platonic than you expect.

  6. Davis Xavier says:

    For me,I would always want to begin my friendship on the grounds of being only platonic.It is quite possible that one can develop a physical attraction over a course of time.But it can happen only with few people,not with everyone.To answer your first poll,I am sexually attracted to one and have found out that the feelings are mutual.That answers the second poll too.

  7. 0

    friendship is a beautiful relationship where two souls are bonded by a pure,clear relationship.sometimes it becomes more important in your life than blood relations.For me,all of my friends are platonic,I am not attracted to anyone physically.

  8. Sara Lewis says:

    Usually I gel with any person whose thoughts,ideas and opinions towards life and day-to-day things are similar to that of mine.So the base of my friendship could be categorised as platonic initially.But if his charm,personality and sense of humour are worth to impress me then the possibility of getting physically attracted to him can't be ruled out.

    • ThatMarika says:

      I feel the same way Sara. I have a lot of attractive guy friends but my mind doesn't go there until what you mentioned are attributes he holds…. alone with chemistry and genuine care. I don't think I have found a man that genuinely cares about me in an unconditional way. Not romantically at least.

  9. Lee says:

    I have many friends of the opposite sex but did not have any attraction towards them, nor did they have. In fact my partner with whom I live now, was introduced to me through common friends. Our relation sparked of instantly. So my opinion is that friends are not platonic.

  10. 0

    If I was to answer this question few years ago,I would have probably dismissed the possibility of getting attracted towards a friend physically or sexually.I had a best friend of opposite sex from my childhood who has been close to me all my life.We both have shared all delicate,complex and sensitive issues together and always be with each other.I always considered our friendship platonic until in adulthood we both mutually felt that it's more than just a friendship.And finally I ended up marrying my best friend of childhood two years back and leading a happy life.

  11. 0

    The answer for this question varies from person to person depending upon different age groups.For children every friend is very dear to them and they share a pure,affectionate relationship with him/her.If the same question is posed to an teenager,he would cite very few of his/her friends as platonic and others as someone to whom he/she is physically attracted.For an old person,he needs a friend with whom he can share his thoughts and that friendship would be ;purely platonic from his point of view.

  12. 0

    Friendship is such a beautiful relationship that bonds two souls by the unseen and magical link be it an intellectual or physical.This bond gets stronger day by day by the level of comfort,compatibility and the emotions two people share.From my experience,I will not deny the sexual attraction that eventually takes place once the two people get involved with each other and intimate with each other.But I believe the friendship always starts from the 'platonic' status and may gradually converts into infatuation and love.

  13. 0

    I am a postgraduate student of Psychology at the University of Limassol,Cyprus and presently conducting a debate next weekend on the subject 'Friendship,Love and their intricacies'.I think this can pose as an effective topic where students can put their opinions,arguments and counter arguments and can make a successful debate.I am sure these topics like 'Is your friendship platonic' and 'Are you secretly attracted to your friend' will provide an entertaining conversation amongst students and to the listeners. I will definitely include the brief of this debate in my final report too.

  14. 0

    For one person,the friendship can be a very pure,platonic and a spiritual bond.But from other's perspective,the friendship could be the first step towards expressing his physical attraction to the other person.This is really an amusing as well as thought provoking topic.It sounds insignificant at first instance but pondering deeply,one can fathom the gravity of this subject as the dynamics of the 'friendship' differs from person to person.

    • ThatMarika says:

      It is a serious topic. Right now I am dealing with a guy that professed his feelings for me, and I don't like him like that. I am not sure what do but I am close to ending our friendship because he won't give up. Hailey he brings this up EVERY conversation now! It's frustrating. I have now had to flat out tell him he is not my type and never will be and he insists things will change. He is also much older than me. It's just really annoying when before our exchanges were fun and thought provoking instead of just flat out annoying! But thank you for saying that! :)

  15. 0

    This article and the related poll is a big revelation for me.I have always deemed friendship as only pure and platonic with no slight feeling of any sort of physical or sexual attraction.For me, the sexual attraction takes place at first sight and hence a person can be either my platonic friend or my crush.Physical attraction after being friends for a long time has never occured to me.

    • ThatMarika says:

      Yeah it happens Hannah! Not sure if in our 20s it happens that often. But I think as we get older it does. I still want an attractive man but I need one to be my friend in my 30s so I can see that happening again and I can see myself marrying my friend. What I can't fathom is a woman especially marrying a man she is not attracted to but that happens too. I am glad my blog to be a revelation for you though!

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